Yayhowexciting

Super!

2008-11-03T04:07:00.001-08:00

The pros of losing weight-

People finally giving you POSITIVE comments!
Having more energy.
Having more $$ as you don't spend so much on food.
NOT FEELING HUNGRY!
Eating to live, not living to eat.
Putting on clothes that NEVER used to fit but magically they now do, and are loose!
Having a giant smile on your face!
Being more confident.
Going to a restaurant and people not looking at you like your a fat pig.
Walking down the street without someone making a snide comment.
Attention from the opposite sex!
BEING HAPPY!!!!

So today I am feeling good. Friday night I went to a restaurant and ate something and no one stared at me. This was the first time in a long time. I felt so damn happy. Then went to a bar and a male flirted with me! Then today at work, one of my friends I have not seen in a couple of weeks said "hello, OH MY GOD! LOOK AT YOU! You look great!"

Right now I am on cloud 9, i hope this feeling continues!

LOL lazy!

2008-10-25T01:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, sorry about the HUGE delay between posts. Frankly, I had forgotten my password and have only just reset it!

So what's been going on with my band? Not much! I went for my 4th fill on Thursday with a different Doc. I was so damn nervous because for the whole week leading up to it I had convinced myself I had put on weight. I was so scared of the nurse and the doc! I jumped on the scales and my face fell, 131.4kg :( I turned to the nurse who had a big smile on her face. I said "Oh my god! I can't believe I haven't lost any weight!" She gave me a weird look and pointed to the computer. Since my last visit (which mind you was 5 weeks ago) I had lost 5.5kg! JOY! I couldn't believe it. I had totally forgotten what my last weight was until she showed me. I am SO SO SO close to the 120's I can taste it! He he.

I have stepped up my exercise a bit with doing light weights, walking (god i hate it, I live in an area that has so many damn hills), push ups, sit ups, star jumps and some other stuff. Every time I exercise it gets so much easier. I am feeling good and people are starting to notice which is always nice :)

BUT of course I have my bad days. My really really really bad days where I just have a shit day and eat Maccas. It tastes like shit but somehow I am still addicted. I have seriously been considering seeing a psychologist or someone that can help me through it but I wouldn't know where to start.

My Mum had her stomach stapled in the 90's and she has lost heaps of weight. I hear it only lasts 10 years but hers is still working. She has a horrid scar on her stomach where they did it but she looks so amazing now, so small! But she has a lot of problems eating a lot of things. With alot of what she eats she has to run to the bathroom and vomit. Which is scary. I am so glad the Lap Band is now available instead of this horrible 'stapling'. I wish my Mum could of had the band.

First fill.....

2008-08-12T01:58:00.000-07:00

Well I had my first fill. I also found out my scales are evil liars! He he I haven't lost 8.9kg like i though but 5.5 (which I am still happy about). I thought I'd cry but didn't ha ha. The nurse said I was doing well which I was happy about!

So, Prof called me in and got me to lie on the table. I was shaking so much. So he sticks the needle in and it was a little ouch. But then, my worst nightmare, he started moving it around, pressing it down and OUCHHHHHH!!! Boy did it hurt. I was such a sook breathing erratically and suppressing my squeals. So this lasted about 3 mins (felt like forever!) then Prof says "Hmm, I think we need a bigger needle." My reaction "Um, WHAT!?" So he gets a bigger needle, and goes in for second time lucky, was a small prick and then........................................... couldn't feel a thing and he said "All done!" apparently I'm still a little bit swollen and the larger needle worked a treat! But I have to go back in 2 weeks for another fill and hopefully it'll be first time's the charm! I had 4.7 mil in it and he put in another 0.7mil. I spoke to a lovely girl there today waitng for my turn. It is so nice to meet someone face to face and chat about it. I felt really happy and proud. She looked really good too which made me feel even better.

Thanks for all the lovely comments as well, It means the world to me =)

Well that was my horrifying experience. Lol what a baby!!

Yawn

2008-08-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

Oh what a lovely Sunday it is today! I love staying at home when it's all cold and miserable outside and I'm inside snuggled in! It's great!

Well I am starting to see bone definition returning where my neck/shoulders are. A-MAZING! I havn't seen this for at least 2 years. What a fantastic feeling. My boobs have gotten smaller, I hardly fit into my bras. My face is a little slimmer and my eyes aren't as squinty and fat (lol) as they used to be. I am starting to feel a lot more confident within myself which is very exciting.

I have my first fill on Tuesday, this is most exciting. I can't wait to see the Prof, he is so lovely. I can feel the port under my skin/fat and it feels very strange. Doesn't hurt, I just feels weird. My scars are healing so well. i am a little surprised actually. They are so small.

Anywho I guess I should start to make some dinner.

xoxo

Busy...

2008-08-04T02:10:00.000-07:00

Well sorry it's taken me so damn long to write a new blog! I am now back at work and busy :-( I really want a new job but don;t have the confidence for interviews yet. When I lose more weight I think (hope) i'll be fine.

I can't wait to have my first fill and getting hungrier and hungrier! I have been using will power up until now mainly but still find i am eating a hell of a lot less than i used to.

Still havn't weighed myself, I am going to wait til I go to Prof's as I just became to obsessed jumping on the scales every hour! What a nutter!!

I am healing really well, I have a thin line which is my major scar and 4 little ones which are scabbed and hardly noticible, i am so happy how they have healed so well. Oh and I did take my dressings off about a week and a half ago and my tummy didnt split open in 2 like i imagined it would haha.

Not much else to report really, i feel like i have a lot more energy nowadays and am even walking up and down the stairs of the carpark where i park my car every day for a little bit of added exercise.

Bored

2008-07-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

Well it's Thursday today and not long now til im back at work =( although I am quite bored at home. Thank god for Foxtel though, I don't think I could have survived without it. I love being here though when it's raining and cold outside and i'm sunuggled in all warm inside, those are the best days.

Anyway, I havn't weighed myself again, I will keep it at once a week, which will be mondays. I think I'd get too obsessed if I weighed myself everyday, like if i put on weight I'd probably cry!

I think my wounds are healing nicely, I have been too chicken to take off the dressings permanantly. I am affraid that if i take them off and i go for a walk they will split open! Haha I am a weirdo but meh what can ya do eh? I am planning on removing the dressings tomorrow and just bighting the bullet.

Well I will have to see Prof on the 12th of august, how frightening! He said I will have a fill.... YIKES! I am not excited about a needle getting stuck into my belly, thats for sure. Does it hurt? I hate needles but I guess I coped with the anestheic and blood test so hopefully I'll be fine =)

Oh my God....

2008-07-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

I got my scales today. Weighed myself.... 136.00kg. This can't be right. Jumped back on, 136.00kg. Well I certainly hope this is right. Because right now I am in a state of elation! OMG!!!!

Today...

2008-07-21T00:42:00.000-07:00

I am on mushies!! YIPEEEEE!!! I had mashed potaoe and 99% fat free gravy for lunch and it was grrrrreat! I had to make it a little runny as i was a bit scared it would stretch my pouch (hmm that sounds weird!). But I now have heaps of energy and will be going out for a walk tonight with my darling boy BT for hopefully an hour. It has been pretty cold the past few nights and tonight will be no exception, I hear hail is predicted! I only hope it starts AFTER my walk.

Nothing much else really. oh I saw the Dark Knight last night and it was fantastic! Heath Ledger did such a great job with the Joker, he was really creepy!

Lalala

2008-07-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

Well, today is Saturday and I am feeling excellent! I have a little bit of pain where my cuts are but its more uncomfortable than soreness. I am getting used to liquids now, so still feeling good. The soup I made the other night has kept me going and tomorrow Dad is going to bring around a huge batch of soup he made, hehe he's so funny!

My rib pain and shoulder pain seems to be gone but I don't want to hold my breath on the shoulder pain as I thought it had gone yesterday but as soon as I had my dinner it was back! God it was annoying, I ended up taking my heat pack and 2 degas tablets to bed. I am just feeling kinda low on energy but have been having my berocca performance every morning which seems to help.

I am so excited about losing the weight. People have already commented and it's been less than a week! I have ordered some scales off eBay so hopefully they should arrive by next week and I can see how much I have hopefully lost. Thank God for eBay! I love the discreetness of it all. I couldn't even imagine walking into a shop and buying scales, everyone would probably look at me funny thinking, "they probably wont hold you". The day before my Op the nurse weighed me and it hurts me to say that I weighed 144.9kg. In all honesty I thought I was around 140 but I guess I wasn't far off. So my goal is to halve that. It's going to be tough but I am determined to do well.

Liquids..

2008-07-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

I am really struggling on the liquids. I feel sick if I even smell cup a soup or Campbell's creamy soups. Yuck. I was feeling pretty low yesterday. I still had some shoulder pain and I just generally felt sick. Last night I made my own soup and boy it was nice. It also made me feel a lot better. So I am planning on having that for dinner/lunch for the next few days until I can start mushies! Thank god for mushies. I Can;t wait to have mashed potato and veggies and scrambled eggs.

I guess I am lucky Prof O'Brien lets his clients have mushies after 1 week, It seems like alot of people have mushies after 2+ weeks.

Well today I plan on going for a small walk, I am still a bit sore on my tummy but every day I wake up I am feeling alot better than the day before. I can;t wait to start exercising properly and feeling good!

Windy wind bag...

2008-07-16T01:40:00.000-07:00

Well I am alive! Hehe, I HATE liquids and its only day 2! GAHH!!! Lol, i needed to let that out. Anyway, I have been feeling a lot better today with a lot less shoulder pain and have been farting a heck of a lot. Which has definantly been good as I am now feeling alot less bloaty. I have included some piccies of my battle wounds for everyone to see. Nothing exciting really. I am fairly tired but getting better as the days roll on. I just can't wait to have something solid to eat! only a couple of weeks to go and I know I can be strong. I have my first follow up with Prof O'Brien on 12/08 to get a fill. I am so so so so freaking out about it. I hope it doesnt hurt! Can anyone shed any light on the subject for me ?? I am a major wuss when it comes to needles. Tomorrow I am planning on going for a walk around the block to clear my head a bit (and my windy bowel!). I am already feeling a little lighter which is nice :-)

Oh I can't wait to start exercising properly. I have been thinking about joining a gym but am too scared. A personal trainer would be nice but alas I dont have the funds for that right now. I think I might stick to walking and other light exercises for the first month, until I get my bearings.

But If there are any ladies in the Eastern suburbs of MELBS that would liek to go for a walk then let me know!

DONE!

2008-07-15T00:20:00.000-07:00

Howdy everyone,

have come home from hospital today so this will be fairly brief. I'm a bit sore on my tummy with a little bit of shoulder pain but nothing I cant handle! I had the best care at The Avenue, all the staff were excellent!

Well just letting everyone know I am ok and yuck the barrium was GROSS! hehe but somehow I survived!

take care
MZ
xxx

Excited (obviously!)

2008-07-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am sitting at my computer at 1:33am on the 13/07/2008. Tomorrow (14/7) I will be banded! Over the past couple of days all i have been doing when I've had a spare minute to myself is cry! I am so full of emotions right now that it's making me a bit bonkers! But it feels good to cry. You know one of those happy and relieved ones you have when you know ever thing is all about to change?

Well I guess now all I can do is tell you a little about myself. So here goes nothing....

I have pretty much ever since I can remember been a 'big' girl. In primary school I was teased by a nasty little cow in grade one who called me fat all the time. This is when I first realised that I was a little bit different to most of the kids. They all got picked on because they had glasses, or peed on the carpet. But I was the fat girl. It was in primary school where I found a love of sport. Any sport I played I was good at. Except for cross country, sprinting was OK but cross country was a no go! People couldn't believe how a chubby girl could actually be good at sport. For this reason, allot of other kids used to hurl insults my way until I pretty much gave up in year 5. I kept to myself pretty much and people usually ignored me.

Next was high school, where I wasn't really bullied that often. Sometimes one of the smart-arsed jock boys would say something but I didn't really care, I'd just go home and eat and feel better. In high school food became my comfort. My family was messed up which in turn messed me up. My parents had divorced in primary school and used me in their games to get back at each other. This was extremely hard and once again I'd turn to food. Doesn't matter what it was, could have been bread with only mayonnaise in it and I'd scoff it down. In the end, a full tummy meant I felt comforted. Every day after school I used to buy a 100gram bag of chips and a 600ml coke and have it when I got home.

I did very poorly in my final year of VCE and felt like a failure. I got accepted into a tafe course which I did for a term and dropped out. I started to work and for the first time ever I had my own money. Which I guess was kind of bad as my own money meant I could buy my own food. I used to go to the supermarket and buy chips, chocolate lollies and soft drink whenever I could. I had a reasonably physical job so I guess it helped me in not gaining the weight so fast. After a couple of years I moved onto my next job, which was a desk job. All day I sit on my ass and get no exercise. Well that's a lie, at lunch I'd go down to the local shop and buy a large serving of greasy food and a soft drink. then have a chocolate bar or bag of chips for afternoon tea.

A year or so went buy and I moved out of home. This is when I put on a majority of my weight. Within a year I'd grown soo big people in the street were making snide comments about my size. Because of this I have become a total hermit. I will only go where ever I feel comfortable (work, friends/families houses). I hate it. I am 21 years old and It makes me feel like crap. I should be out, having fun with my friends, not home by myself being miserable and eating shit! I want to go out but every time I do, some asshole has to ruin it by saying something about my size.

So last year I decided enough is enough. I went and saw my local GP who recommended I see Prof O'Brien and think about lap band surgery (I had tried numerous fad diets and pills and none ever worked). So I went along to an info session and the day after I called and made an appointment with Prof O'Brien. Before the appointment I took out top health cover and of course there was a 1 year wait for a pre-existing condition. So I went to the appointment and it was great. Booked my surgery for 14/7/2008. At the time it seemed so far away! But it has been oh so quick. The year flew by and I can hardly believe it's all going to happen in less than 48hrs.

So that's my story. I am excited. This is it! My new life. I can't wait to start exercising and feeling good for once. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to go for a run or go out with some friends and kick a footy around. This is my chance to change, andI won't mess it up. It is my tool, I will follow a healthy eating plan and make sure I exercise.

Well I am off to the Avenue today and check in at 4pm. I think this means I will be first thing monday morning which is scary but will be glad to get it over and done with. Well, I best be off to bed now. Wish me luck!

Oh and below are my before photos....... I can hardly look at them :-( I thoughtI should choose some clothes that are uber tight so you can see how big I am.